Are You Going To Eat Your Fat?

The Many Faces of Addiction

Anorexia, binge eating, alcoholism, and drug use are different sides of the same coin. As Deena recalls a time in treatment and recovery, she illuminates the mental tug-of-war and self-sabotage those battling these disorders constantly face.  
In this episode, Deena and Brian share the common struggles of addiction and the importance of understanding how addiction affects people from all walks of life.  
In this episode, you’ll also hear: 
Recognizing tricks and coping mechanisms  
Self-sabotage and starting over    
Difficulty of Acceptance  
Must-listen moments:  
[00:3:43] This eating disorder thing doesn't look at race. It doesn't look at how old you are or how wealthy you are. It doesn't matter what sex you are. It just takes over.   
[00:20:13] What I've come around to, in order to help you be healthy, is holding you to that standard…you're going to do your first step over.  
[00:20:45] Support doesn't always mean yes. Some support, a lot of times, means no.  
 
Thank you for listening. Whether you’re suffering from an eating disorder or you’re a caring friend or family member, we’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com 
Contribute a few bucks to the “Are You Going To Eat Your Fat?” Patreon to help cover production costs and the coordination and provision of resources.  
Whether you’re in recovery or currently in your eating disorder, you’re invited to join our FREE Facebook Group, “Are You Going to Eat Your Fat?” where you’ll find helpful recovery guidance, quotes, and support multiple times a week. There are already 33 members! Will you be next? 

A Spouse’s Perspective of Addiction

When people think of a love story, it usually doesn’t include addiction. Brian and Deena started their lives together as high school sweethearts and married 10 years later, only to have their first years of marriage overshadowed by Deena’s eating disorder.   
In this episode, Brian sheds light on his experience of trying to support his wife through recovery and suggestions for caregivers who need support.  
In this episode, you’ll also hear: 
When treatment doesn’t work as it should    
The upside-down world of addiction  
Balancing success with struggle in recovery  
Must-listen moments:  
[00:4:08] I wanted to figure out how I can best support my wife as she's struggling because I see her struggling, but I don't know what to do. So, give me the tools to help. 
[00:14:17]  I just remember looking at my wife going, wondering, what are you doing? I don't understand. But that was the mantra: I don't understand, I really don't.  
[00:18:22] It's a lot easier when your loved one has the tools to succeed and understands their disease. 
 
Thank you for listening. Whether you’re suffering from an eating disorder or you’re a caring friend or family member, we’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com 
Contribute a few bucks to the “Are You Going To Eat Your Fat?” Patreon to help cover production costs and the coordination and provision of resources.  
Whether you’re in recovery or currently in your eating disorder, you’re invited to join our FREE Facebook Group, “Are You Going to Eat Your Fat?” where you’ll find helpful recovery guidance, quotes, and support multiple times a week. There are already 33 members! Will you be next? 
  

Understanding the Role of OCD in Eating Disorders & Recovery

When it comes to supporting those living with eating disorders and OCD, it takes more than just kind words and a sympathetic ear. The challenge lies in understanding the emotional paralysis that OCD can cause, like the anxiety triggered by numbers on a scale. 
In this episode, Deena opens up about the guilt, desperation, and frustration that these behaviors often entail and how caregivers can offer support in loving ways.  
In this episode, you’ll also hear: 
Examples of OCD Tendencies  
Tips for being supportive to those with OCD  
Being one step ahead of yourself in recovery  
Must-listen moments:  
[00:13:04] Sometimes, if your loved one is struggling with OCD, it's kind of like you plug one hole, and another hole starts. And then you plug that hole, and the original hole starts draining again. 
[00:13:49] Wacky and strange as it sounds, the OCD does keep you in this sort of state of paralysis. 
[00:19:28] It's good to be in the moment, but knowing where you are in your recovery and what you need ahead of time so that you don't get yourself in a situation where you're like, I'm desperate…now what do I do? 
Thank you for listening. Whether you’re suffering from an eating disorder or you’re a caring friend or family member, we’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com 
Contribute a few bucks to the “Are You Going To Eat Your Fat?” Patreon to help cover production costs and the coordination and provision of resources.  
Whether you’re in recovery or currently in your eating disorder, you’re invited to join our FREE Facebook Group, “Are You Going to Eat Your Fat?” where you’ll find helpful recovery guidance, quotes, and support multiple times a week. There are already 33 members! Will you be next? 

Reflections on Recovery: Food Fears and Family Dynamics

Recovery is a demanding process that never ends, even when someone seems to have their life in order. The little voice of addiction still pops up, and maintaining healthy relationships can be a struggle even after 20-plus years of recovery.  
In this episode, Deena dives into her ongoing personal struggles and why sometimes it’s okay to be a little selfish to protect your recovery. 
In this episode, you’ll also hear: 
Addressing food fears and keeping a food plan  
Establishing boundaries for family relationships 
Seeking out support and finding a bigger purpose  
Must-listen moments:  
[00:03:46] If you're thinking about something and contemplating it over and over in your head, it's probably something that you need to face.  
[00:4:21] Now we have a very good relationship where I know when to share with him and when not to, and when I need to go to somebody else and talk to someone else about it.  
[00:13:09] I feel the most comfortable when I'm talking to other people, trying to help others understand eating disorders, and giving support to others.  
Thank you for listening. Whether you’re suffering from an eating disorder or you’re a caring friend or family member, we’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com 

Addiction and Family Intervention Challenges

Navigating the murky waters of addiction is challenging, and it’s tougher when the struggle isn’t understood by the family. Deena recalls difficult moments when she felt judged rather than supported during her recovery, while Brian walks us through his own family’s history of addiction and how his grandfather struggled with alcohol before resources like Alcoholics Anonymous existed.  
In this episode, Deena and Brian put the spotlight on the complexities of family support in addiction recovery and the importance of understanding the nature of the disease.   
In this episode, you’ll also hear: 
The role of a higher power in recovery  
Navigating family support in addiction recovery  
Recalling family history of addiction     
Must-listen moments:  
[00:05:02] When you talk about a higher power, it's not necessarily in your higher power as God, but it's just a recognition…a higher power is just that. It's something greater than yourself that you recognize. 
[00:16:48] It's very important to be proactive in your own recovery, and think ahead.   
[00:26:48] I can keep sharing my story and telling you what I went through, but like we said, this is a family disease. And we not only want to be here for the addict, but we want to be here for the family. The brothers, the sisters, the parents, whoever you may be, because you're struggling just as much. 
Thank you for listening. Whether you’re suffering from an eating disorder or you’re a caring friend or family member, we’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com 

What Helped Me Get Better (Recovery from Anorexia)

Unfortunately, there is no silver bullet for treating eating disorders. Deena shares why recovering from anorexia is akin to being on an emotional rollercoaster and how the simple act of cleaning out her closet can send her reeling. 
She also provides insights into managing triggers during recovery and the importance of daily routines and setting achievable goals. Deena and Brian emphasize the critical role of external support systems for both addicts and caretakers, and the profound impact of groups like OA and AA when navigating through challenging times.
In this episode, Deena and Brian continue unpacking Deena’s recovery journey and remind listeners it’s okay to seek help as an addict or a caretaker, and remember support is always available. 
In this episode, you’ll also hear:
What helped Deena during her second treatment
Recognizing triggers and using “feeling words”
Resources for caretakers of addicts 
 
Must-listen moments: 
[00:05:42] It's really important for people with disordered eating to talk about their feelings because…even in addiction as a whole, you don't recognize what you're feeling in the moment; you're just feeding the addiction in the hopes that that's going to make you feel better because it's made you feel better the past.
[00:13:09] I even remember the staff there, when I was getting ready to leave treatment for good, were like, “You know, Dina, you're going to hit triggers. That's part of life. That's part of recovery.” 
[00:24:04] As somebody who wants to be supportive, you can do that. but you do have to realize that as a caretaker and somebody who doesn't struggle with addiction, that maybe there's a reason for all these [support] groups for caretakers, for survivors of those who have an addiction.
Thank you for listening. Whether you’re suffering from an eating disorder or you’re a caring friend or family member, we’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com

Anorexia Consumed my Identity, Recovery Helped me Rebuild

Deena pulls back the curtain on her eating disorder even more, revealing her struggle with feeling invisible and alienated even as her loved ones desperately tried to help her. She recalls how her addiction cast a shadow over life's pivotal moments, like birthdays and even her own wedding. 
Deena and Brian also discuss her ever-present fear of death while battling her eating disorder, and how Deena’s mother even wrote a heart-breaking message about planning for Deena’s seemingly imminent funeral. 
In this episode, Deena and Brian explore the critical role of a support system in tackling eating disorders, and how therapy from a professional who had firsthand experience with anorexia made a significant difference. 
In this episode, you’ll also hear:
Struggling with isolation caused by addiction  
Feeling numb vs. feeling family’s pain 
Need for therapy and support system 
Must-listen moments: 
[00:06:03] When we talk about who you had become, there was a lot of avoidance. There was a lot of isolation and a lot of times, it alienated those friends and family who wanted to help, but didn't know how to help, saw that there was a problem, didn't know what to do about the problem.
[00:14:57] The depths of the disease that your loved one is struggling with, you have no idea how deep that struggle is. And it is so profound and you are so removed from it.
[00:18:00] Now I had a conscience of how I was hurting other people and I couldn't do it. I knew I was getting better because I was thinking of how I was going to affect my family and other people, and I knew that I didn't have another chance.
Thank you for listening. Whether you’re suffering from an eating disorder or you’re a caring friend or family member, we’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com
 

Treading the Rough Road of Recovery - My Second Treatment Stay

Three months after her first inpatient treatment experience, Deena’s progress was wiped out by a swift relapse, causing her to return to the hospital. Deena and Brian had already spent their nest egg on her first hospital stay, thus relying on their family to help fund Deena’s second stint at healing her eating disorder.   
Overwhelmed by Deena’s second inpatient stay, Brian shares the mixture of guilt and freedom he felt, knowing he was not responsible for fixing her problems for her. Thankfully, Deena’s second facility took a much different approach than the first, including hands-on cooking education and long-term support. 
Years later, Deena confesses how she embraced a fake-it-to-make-it attitude throughout treatment and eventually no longer felt the need to fake anything. She understood her triggers and what caused her behaviors around food to shift, making a recovery more manageable when she finally returned home 7 months later.   
In this episode, Deena and Brian walk us through their individual experiences during Deena’s second treatment stay and why they believe you should always believe recovery is possible. 
 
You’ll also hear:
Relapse is part of recovery
The mental and emotional weight of being a caregiver for an addict 
Why long-term care is critical for recovery 
 
Must-listen moments: 
[00:02:07] As a family member, when you finally get somebody to that treatment facility, it's not an easy thing to do. Treatment is scary. Treatment sucks. 
[00:08:22] It's not like you sit down with an addict and go, ‘I think you need help,’ and they go, ‘Yeah, I think you're right,’ and they get up and get help. I mean, that just doesn't happen, and that's not the reality of it.
[00:24:31] I think it's so important to have long-term care…but long-term care, you really need to be able to change those patterns in your recovery, to make your recovery last.
 
Mentioned in this Episode: 
https://www.montecatinieatingdisorder.com/
 
We’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com

A Journey Toward Hope and Fulfillment - My First Treatment Stay

Throughout her road to recovery, Deena kept a journal and shares an excerpt from her writing: “I had been seeing my doctor monthly to have my blood counts checked. They said I was in need of a blood transfusion if I didn't do something about my health soon.” 
With raw honesty, she takes us through her personal journey, sharing the daily routines that masked her struggle and revealing the weight of secrecy and difficulty opening up to her partner, Brian. Her story is a stark reminder of the reality many face alone, underlining the critical need to understand this disease, not just for the sufferers but also for their support network.
Brian recalls his frustration in watching Deena seek medical help and weighing in at a mere 57 pounds as an adult woman at 5’7” tall and how the doctors just kept suggesting different tests instead of providing actual treatment solutions.   
Eventually, Deena checked into an inpatient facility for weight loss in California. She figured out ways to make others believe she was getting better and was released after three months. Soon after, her weight plummeted again, and the cycle continued.    
In this episode, Brian and Deena recount what led to her first treatment experience and the disappointment of searching for answers from trusted experts without any luck. 
In this episode, you’ll also hear:
The compulsive side of eating disorders 
Deena’s trauma, tricks, and treatment experience 
Realizing the difference between trying vs. doing 
Must-listen moments: 
[00:03:06] At the same time, I knew if I didn't go somewhere and get help, I wouldn't have long to live. I was living on spared time as it was. 
[00:06:43] We'll say it over and over again. This is a family disease and really a disease that eats families.
[0:09:48] Just as much as an alcoholic Hides the bottles from you so that you don't see the disease, it's the same way with an eating disorder. Right, you're gonna do these things that affect your weight so that you don't see the disease. 
[00:21:51] I remember thinking at the time, okay, this is great while she's here, but what's gonna happen when we go home?
[0:26:31] When I was in treatment, my dad said something to me one time… we were sitting with the doctors, and I was like, “I'm trying, I'm trying,” and he's like, “Deena, you have to stop trying, you just have to do it.” And those words hit me like a rock because I really didn't think my dad gave a crap about me, and something about saying that really made me wake up and do it. 
We’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com

Breaking the Silence Around Eating Disorders with Purpose

If you're feeling trapped in a cycle of self-destructive habits and body scrutiny, constantly searching for validation and control through your eating disorder, you are not alone! 
In this episode, you’ll hear from both Brian and Deena about her backstory, how her duel with anorexia developed, and how a lack of understanding and support can exacerbate any addictive behaviors. Her story unfolds in the 90s when anorexia was largely misunderstood and not adequately treated as an addiction. 
Before the internet and social media, there was limited information, especially regarding health issues such as eating disorders. Thankfully, research and treatment options for disordered eating have significantly improved over the past 20 years, but there’s still not enough!
By being transparent about her experiences, together with Brian's unwavering support and perspective, they aim to create a beacon of hope and source of practical guidance for others caught up in the whirlwind of eating disorders.
 
What you’ll hear: 
Deena’s family background and start of anorexia     
The lack of resources for eating disorders in the 1990s
Treating eating disorders as a family issue 
Must-listen moments: 
[00:05:55] No one understood. We didn't understand. Eating disorders weren’t even a thing.
[00:14:43] All of us have to learn how to cope. We all have a part in it. It's a family disease. 
[00:16:49] It took over my whole life. It was the most important thing in my life to me. I was a newlywed and I cared more about my eating disorder than anybody else. It came before anything else.
We’d love to hear from you via email at eatthatfat@gmail.com